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Madalyn's avatar

Even so people who have a wife/ husband and kids to house every seat in their soccer van they may very well feel the same “emptiness” or “Unfulfillment” that you do. Is it the lack of something that allows people to put blame and cause of the Unfulfillment they feel. I think you are on the right track and should be very proud of the accomplishments you have made. Wife and Kids will not = better Drew you have to be a better Drew for Future Wife and kids… but I hear they are expensive anyways. Good read!

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Drew Brown's avatar

Thank you so much for your kind words, and I definitely agree about the unfulfillment. Everyone--no matter the life stage--can experience that. I'm trying to learn to be content in the midst of that feeling!

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Wilder Adkins's avatar

Have you considered moving to Birmingham? Low cost of living, plenty of church going women, even some local universities for you to work in. Well, no pressure. I enjoyed reading and you are right that some of those expectations still seem to be there for whatever reason!

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Drew Brown's avatar

Wilder it is a dream of mine to be friends with you in real life. And if it takes moving to Birmingham I am all for it. The cost of living, church-going women, and universities are just a bonus (ha). Dude thanks so much for reading, I really, really appreciate it!

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Sarah K. Lenz's avatar

A big problem with the Christian purity culture of the 90s was being indoctrinated with the belief that God rewarded your devotion and piety by giving you exactly the perfect spouse for you. So if marriage doesn’t happen, it suddenly becomes a blame game. Whelp, you obviously weren’t pure and holy enough. What absolute rubbish that mindset is! It significantly harmed some of my single Christian friends.

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Drew Brown's avatar

Oof that is an entire sermon series. I read "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" the month before I got my first girlfriend in eighth grade, so there was a lot to unpack there for a while in counseling haha. Another HUGE thing that drives me crazy (and one I might write about eventually), is the idea that people who are "pure" should match with others that are "pure." That if someone doesn't have that purity somehow they are less than. Truly, that is one of the most unchristian ideas I've ever encountered. Drives me crazy.

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Sarah K. Lenz's avatar

My early dating life was impacted by "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" while I was a dating a guy whose parents were part of the Quiverful movement. Yikes! I dodged a bullet on that one. He later became a huge Trump supporter after having children with three different women.

Almost everything that the purity movement tried to indoctrinate me with turned out to be a lie. I've been happily married for 17 years to a man who does not identify as Christian. I really appreciate how Joshua Harris has public denounced his stance in "I Kissed Dating Goodbye."

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