Reading your story makes me grateful to reflect on those people who have buoyed me in faith when I couldn’t keep my own head above water. I LOVE your reflections on your grandmother’s answered prayers- how beautiful to see God’s responses to things we have forgotten.
Sabine! My friend! You are too kind to comment on this and to read my writing. Truly--thank you! I'd be surprised if anyone is able to make it through life without needing people to buoy us. I am cheering for you!
New here, but beautifully done! Love the vignettes that lead to a whole.
I was talking recently with my wife about liturgy can carry us for the long haul. Worship is often valued for the effect in the now, which is also important. But we were reflecting on the psalms and songs that carried us from our youth. Psalm/Songs that not only allowed honesty but invited it. God can take our honesty.
Another beautiful thing about your post to me is it has a Deuteronomy 6 feel to it. Your family seemingly crafting the architecture of liturgy, and faithful presence throughout the course of your life. Something for me to aspire to for my kids! Thanks for taking the time to write this.
I used to visit the Russian Orthodox Church in our city at one time. Id like to do again. I loved how the liturgy just goes ahead regardless,in a set unchanging pattern,regardless of if anyone is watching etc.
People arrive,light candles,kiss icons, stand,mill to and fro,leave,all regardless. No one has to participate,respond,sing hymns. There is no sermon. I found it mystical and wonderful.
Blake, wow, welcome! Thank you for taking the time to write such a thoughtful and touching comment. I was raised nondenom but have gone fully liturgical over the past four years. There was something about liturgy that welcomed me into a worship setting rather than required me to create my own worship.
Thank you, Drew. I join you in your prayers for being a community of people who can sit with others' hard questions; who can carry their burdens like our Shepherd does for us. Recently I experienced something in my own faith journey that is outside my theological box, and when I tried to process with others I received defensive questions and tones that shut me down, when what I really needed was a friend to sit with me in curiosity. It was a good reminder to me that our posture/calmness/openness/facial expressions can all really impact how those disentangling might feel invited to journey in companionship or not.
Lesley, thank you for reading and sharing such thoughtful words! I'm sorry you experienced that defensiveness, and I hope you have people who want to sit with you in that curiosity. I'm grateful you are here!
This is so beautiful. I think one of the most destructive things about deconstruction is that it so often results in relational breakdown. But your story shows there’s a better way, a more sacred way. Rooted in generational faithfulness and gentle love. If we choose to remain rooted in relationship, we’ll weather the storms. We were never meant to do this alone.
This will be an odd comment. I suspect I read the political landscape from a different place...but deeply appreciate the primacy you place love, relationship and flexibility in our complex sojourn toward the celestial city.
That's such a lovely Grandma! I loved to read that. Bit diff. to mine! Faith is much harder than Belief. There is a subtle difference as The Man pointed out,"even the devils believe". We need much more SLOW in our lives. Less activity,less productivity,less jumping up and down and shouting (the TV advert version of how to be a desirable human😁🤪. Slow food,slow travel,slow life,slow faith. Quiet and Calm.🌫️
Jane, I am literally reading a book right now called "Slow Productivity." I deeply believe in slowing my life down to spend time with God and notice the life around me. It's easier said than done though!
First of all, I know the man the woman in chapel was speaking of. My husband works for his son-in-law. :) 💛
Secondly, I think over time, all of these loud make-a-loud-noise for Jesus ways of life will fall in on itself. It is heartbreaking because it devours beloved friends in it.
Remember Eugene Peterson in Practicing Resurrection saying something about life with Jesus is a dash? Like a hyphen, a gap. An inscape. There are more and more of us settling into that gap alongside your grandma. What a miracle it is to find it, and I'm praying that for my friends too.
Thirdly, if you're ever in the Portland area, lemme know!
First, I will most definitely let you know if I'm in the Portland area! And second, thank you for reminding me of that wonderful Peterson idea. How does he always have something beautiful for our feelings??
We lost our parish, our kids' school, and now navigate a tension amongst loved ones since Trump and Covid that wasn't there before. The loss and grief is so real. Thank you for reminding us that we aren't alone.
My mom and dad played similar roles. Dad is an ordained minister and physician and was there for the questions. Mom taught me the liturgical prayers and prayed with us before school/memorized verses. Just today I dropped her off at the airport from visiting and she said, “I just tell myself, ‘if I cannot do it for x-person, I can do it for Jesus.”” They were the threads that held me together on my own journey.
I can appreciate both liturgical and non-liturgical church approaches. However, I definitely feel my faith stays more stable and constant in a liturgical church (in a PCUSA right now - grew up in one, too).
This article has such deep meaning to those of us who are honest truth seekers, wading through the waters of the last eight years. God in His mercy seemed to bring the right books and people into my life in the last eight years... and that last verse you quoted! Love it!
Reading your story makes me grateful to reflect on those people who have buoyed me in faith when I couldn’t keep my own head above water. I LOVE your reflections on your grandmother’s answered prayers- how beautiful to see God’s responses to things we have forgotten.
Sabine! My friend! You are too kind to comment on this and to read my writing. Truly--thank you! I'd be surprised if anyone is able to make it through life without needing people to buoy us. I am cheering for you!
New here, but beautifully done! Love the vignettes that lead to a whole.
I was talking recently with my wife about liturgy can carry us for the long haul. Worship is often valued for the effect in the now, which is also important. But we were reflecting on the psalms and songs that carried us from our youth. Psalm/Songs that not only allowed honesty but invited it. God can take our honesty.
Another beautiful thing about your post to me is it has a Deuteronomy 6 feel to it. Your family seemingly crafting the architecture of liturgy, and faithful presence throughout the course of your life. Something for me to aspire to for my kids! Thanks for taking the time to write this.
I used to visit the Russian Orthodox Church in our city at one time. Id like to do again. I loved how the liturgy just goes ahead regardless,in a set unchanging pattern,regardless of if anyone is watching etc.
People arrive,light candles,kiss icons, stand,mill to and fro,leave,all regardless. No one has to participate,respond,sing hymns. There is no sermon. I found it mystical and wonderful.
I actually studied Eastern Orthodox Theology in college and LOVED it. That has had a huge impact on my own walk with Christ.
Blake, wow, welcome! Thank you for taking the time to write such a thoughtful and touching comment. I was raised nondenom but have gone fully liturgical over the past four years. There was something about liturgy that welcomed me into a worship setting rather than required me to create my own worship.
I'm really glad my writing was helpful for you!
Thank you, Drew. I join you in your prayers for being a community of people who can sit with others' hard questions; who can carry their burdens like our Shepherd does for us. Recently I experienced something in my own faith journey that is outside my theological box, and when I tried to process with others I received defensive questions and tones that shut me down, when what I really needed was a friend to sit with me in curiosity. It was a good reminder to me that our posture/calmness/openness/facial expressions can all really impact how those disentangling might feel invited to journey in companionship or not.
Lesley, thank you for reading and sharing such thoughtful words! I'm sorry you experienced that defensiveness, and I hope you have people who want to sit with you in that curiosity. I'm grateful you are here!
This is so beautiful. I think one of the most destructive things about deconstruction is that it so often results in relational breakdown. But your story shows there’s a better way, a more sacred way. Rooted in generational faithfulness and gentle love. If we choose to remain rooted in relationship, we’ll weather the storms. We were never meant to do this alone.
"We were never meant to do this alone." Amen. I just feel very, very blessed to have a family who sat with me through all the turmoil.
“and held onto me with a malleability—a love” - stopped me in my tracks.
Elizabeth--you are too kind! I'm grateful for you!
This will be an odd comment. I suspect I read the political landscape from a different place...but deeply appreciate the primacy you place love, relationship and flexibility in our complex sojourn toward the celestial city.
Not an odd comment at all, and I am so grateful for your thoughts! "The primacy of love" is such a beautiful idea. I am grateful for you!
That's such a lovely Grandma! I loved to read that. Bit diff. to mine! Faith is much harder than Belief. There is a subtle difference as The Man pointed out,"even the devils believe". We need much more SLOW in our lives. Less activity,less productivity,less jumping up and down and shouting (the TV advert version of how to be a desirable human😁🤪. Slow food,slow travel,slow life,slow faith. Quiet and Calm.🌫️
Jane, I am literally reading a book right now called "Slow Productivity." I deeply believe in slowing my life down to spend time with God and notice the life around me. It's easier said than done though!
First of all, I know the man the woman in chapel was speaking of. My husband works for his son-in-law. :) 💛
Secondly, I think over time, all of these loud make-a-loud-noise for Jesus ways of life will fall in on itself. It is heartbreaking because it devours beloved friends in it.
Remember Eugene Peterson in Practicing Resurrection saying something about life with Jesus is a dash? Like a hyphen, a gap. An inscape. There are more and more of us settling into that gap alongside your grandma. What a miracle it is to find it, and I'm praying that for my friends too.
Thirdly, if you're ever in the Portland area, lemme know!
First, I will most definitely let you know if I'm in the Portland area! And second, thank you for reminding me of that wonderful Peterson idea. How does he always have something beautiful for our feelings??
I'm grateful for you!
This is beautiful and nourishing.
Thank you so much Laurie!
We lost our parish, our kids' school, and now navigate a tension amongst loved ones since Trump and Covid that wasn't there before. The loss and grief is so real. Thank you for reminding us that we aren't alone.
Wow, I am so sorry to hear that, and I am praying you find people who will hold onto you with love.
Drew, yes. That’s all. Thanks. 🙌🏻
Abbey--you are too kind. I am a fan of you!!
My mom and dad played similar roles. Dad is an ordained minister and physician and was there for the questions. Mom taught me the liturgical prayers and prayed with us before school/memorized verses. Just today I dropped her off at the airport from visiting and she said, “I just tell myself, ‘if I cannot do it for x-person, I can do it for Jesus.”” They were the threads that held me together on my own journey.
I can appreciate both liturgical and non-liturgical church approaches. However, I definitely feel my faith stays more stable and constant in a liturgical church (in a PCUSA right now - grew up in one, too).
Thank you for another encouraging post!
This article has such deep meaning to those of us who are honest truth seekers, wading through the waters of the last eight years. God in His mercy seemed to bring the right books and people into my life in the last eight years... and that last verse you quoted! Love it!