It seems like I grew up about 10 years before you did, so it's possible that the movement evolved over time, but I never understood purity culture the way you describe it. In fact, I understood it much more along the lines of the better alternative you suggested. I'm not sure if, as I said before, it evolved, or maybe my parents/church (kinda the same thing) did it better than some others, or maybe I was just too dense to pick up on the subtext. Regardless, I keep hearing people talk about how bad purity culture was, and I always scratch my head at that. But IF the way you explained it is what many other people experienced as well, I guess I get it now.
Hey David! Thanks so much for reading and sharing your own experience! For me, I think purity culture often gets lambasted as "ALL BAD" when some people (it sounds like your parents and church!) took the good of the message ("sex is good within covenant") and focused on that. Unfortunately, for me and others, that good message was layered with poor theology and pharisaical codes. It's taken me quite a bit of time to unpack those extra layers and discover the good of purity. Your parents and church community sound like rockstars!
Reading this made me want to cry, as someone who has tried to unpack the ways that purity culture has hindered/hurt me. It was comforting to hear similar experiences, but also very insightful to hear how purity culture hurts the genders differently. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, I always look forward to reading your newsletter.
Beth, wow, your words mean a lot to me. I'm sorry you have had to unpack so many hurts from purity culture, but I'm glad we are not alone in our journey. I'm so grateful you are here!
Thanks for writing this! Very helpful in understanding my own upbringing, and what the Bible actually teaches. This makes so much more sense than purity culture, and relieves so much of the law & shame it saddled us with. I especially like that image of the cartoon character with the closet bursting full of things, trying to hide what's inside. Relatable..
Ethan, thank you for your kind and honest comment! I'm really glad it was an encouragement to you. So many of us are processing all this stuff, but often we process in isolation, which isn't very helpful. I've found good friends, good counseling, and a good church have been integral in healing for me!
As someone raising boys, this is an insightful read. Thank you for putting the time into it.
Oh my goodness truly, thank you so much for saying this. I hope it's been helpful in some way!
It seems like I grew up about 10 years before you did, so it's possible that the movement evolved over time, but I never understood purity culture the way you describe it. In fact, I understood it much more along the lines of the better alternative you suggested. I'm not sure if, as I said before, it evolved, or maybe my parents/church (kinda the same thing) did it better than some others, or maybe I was just too dense to pick up on the subtext. Regardless, I keep hearing people talk about how bad purity culture was, and I always scratch my head at that. But IF the way you explained it is what many other people experienced as well, I guess I get it now.
Hey David! Thanks so much for reading and sharing your own experience! For me, I think purity culture often gets lambasted as "ALL BAD" when some people (it sounds like your parents and church!) took the good of the message ("sex is good within covenant") and focused on that. Unfortunately, for me and others, that good message was layered with poor theology and pharisaical codes. It's taken me quite a bit of time to unpack those extra layers and discover the good of purity. Your parents and church community sound like rockstars!
So much yes to all of this.
Glad there is someone who can relate!
Reading this made me want to cry, as someone who has tried to unpack the ways that purity culture has hindered/hurt me. It was comforting to hear similar experiences, but also very insightful to hear how purity culture hurts the genders differently. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, I always look forward to reading your newsletter.
Beth, wow, your words mean a lot to me. I'm sorry you have had to unpack so many hurts from purity culture, but I'm glad we are not alone in our journey. I'm so grateful you are here!
Thanks for writing this! Very helpful in understanding my own upbringing, and what the Bible actually teaches. This makes so much more sense than purity culture, and relieves so much of the law & shame it saddled us with. I especially like that image of the cartoon character with the closet bursting full of things, trying to hide what's inside. Relatable..
Ethan, thank you for your kind and honest comment! I'm really glad it was an encouragement to you. So many of us are processing all this stuff, but often we process in isolation, which isn't very helpful. I've found good friends, good counseling, and a good church have been integral in healing for me!