I think it's time to go paid

On the awkwardness of asking for money

Claude Money. “Meules,” 1890.

Because there’s no non-awkward way to talk about money, I’ll just cut to the chase: I’m turning on paid subscriptions again. I’m doing this because I’ve been spending a lot of time working on each of my pieces, and that time has also meant spending money on books and coffee (and the more boring things of life like rent and insurance).

I am very torn about the concept of writing and money. I would write even without a monetary incentive; I know this because I’ve been doing it for a number of years now. These words find their way through my blinking cursor, and I am still shocked anyone wants to read them. The idea that someone might pay for them is beyond me.

More established writers than myself, however, have said it’s important to give people an opportunity to support my work. They have said that I should treat my writing with the seriousness it deserves, that I should see it as an occupation, and that I should not feel bad asking for money because of this.

I believe this. But still, it’s awkward.

I think it’s awkward in part because I still see myself as an amateur. I am not published. I am not sponsored like a NASCAR driver. I do not have the type of following to produce endorsement deals. I am simply writing because I love it and because I think God has given me a gift for it. To ask for your money to support something that feels amateur is weird.

I often live in an eternal state of self-deprecation. (It is much better than an eternal state of self-defecation.) I fear I will never “arrive” and will always find reasons for not being enough to warrant someone’s monetary support.

Not good enough.

Or talented enough.

Or committed enough.

So to turn on a subscription option is, in a way, for me to admit to myself that I take this seriously and believe these little words might be able to impact something or someone.

And, like I said at the beginning, there are the practical realities of paying for rent and life as well as the more flippant things like coffee and books and the occasional pastry from my local bakery (shout out all my Harvey Bakery heads out there).

Finally, the other day I was overjoyed when one of my favorite writers turned on her subscriptions. I was happy to support her and glad I had an opportunity to.

Afterwards, I thought that if I was happy to support her, other people might be happy to support me.

A short interlude about how this will change things

In short, it will not. My writing will still be free. Maybe someday I’ll write something super personal and only share it with paying subscribers or give away books or something, idk. But for now I simply want to give you the option of supporting me without changing how I write on here.

Let’s get practical, practical (to the tune of “Let’s Get Physical” by Olivia Newton John)

I mentioned at the top that I’m turning on subscriptions again because I did it once last year and quickly turned them off.

I turned them on because I was feeling confident about my writing cadence and could use the extra cash. But then life had other things to say, and I wasn’t really able to write here for a few months, needing instead to live the life in front of me and be with the people around me.

Last time I also tied subscriptions to an online store of used books I was creating. That was just too complicated and difficult for me to maintain. So now things are a lot simpler: should you choose to subscribe, you can choose one of three options—monthly, yearly, or founding member.

• Monthly is $6 a month (Substack get’s 10%, so I get like $5.40—but I’m no math major).

• Yearly is $60 a year.

• Founding Member—aka you are just really in the mood to support and would like to go above and beyond—is $200.

Substack has the option to pause subscriptions, which is really attractive to me. So, if I hit a point when life is just a bit too much to write, I can put your subscriptions on pause. When I unpause them, the cycle continues from where we left off (i.e. if you still had fourteen days of a cycle until your next payment, you will still have fourteen days). It’s really important to me that I take your subscription seriously.

With all that said, thank you

Thank you, thank you, thank you. Simply for being here and believing in me enough to give me your email address. I am just so grateful you’re here and grateful God has given me this outlet to stumble my way closer to God’s love. I am becoming a better human through this writing opportunity, and I have been blown away by your support and compassion to me.

Thank you.

-drew